Family Tree by 'Anonymous C'

On the way back from the hospital I was as cold as I was mad. Odd! Hot and cold? Is that possible?

The first thing that caught my eye as I entered the house was the Christmas tree. The goddamn lights were on. Been on all night I assumed. Son-of-a-bitch! In a rage pulled the plug and grabbed it by its middle. Having forgotten there was a nail on one of the legs of the stand it resisted my efforts. I pulled harder. The nail gave way and I fell backwards; the tree almost in my face. God-damn that tree.

I dragged it top first across the living room and when I got to the kitchen entry it would not pass through the opening. I turned to see why it was stuck. That's when I saw the trail of needles, tinsel and rusty water I had created. God-damn that tree to Hell. I spun it around and  yanked it base first through the doorway, across the kitchen and out the patio door. I threw it off the patio, watched it bounce off the forsythia and then land half erect in the snow. God-damn tree!

I was faced with a horrible mess. I sopped up the water, but stains remained. I tried to vacuum up the dead needles and managed to completely plug the Kirby. God-damn vacuum. I called my sister-in-law and she came with her vacuum and rescued me. I think she knew why that god-damn tree was in the snow.

Relatives and friends glanced at the tree as they entered the house after the funeral. No one asked me about it. I think a few asked my son because he looked my way and shrugged his shoulders a few times.

It lay there the rest of the winter and most nights I glanced at it before entering the house. God-damn tree. Then one spring afternoon I got out of the car and glanced toward the forsythia as was my habit. The tree was gone. I suspected my brother-in-law but never asked and no one ever told. The god-damn tree was gone

.

My new obsession became looking for the stains on the rug and in spite of  numerous scrubbings, vacuuming and being cursed at they remained...dimmer, but apparent to me. Others did not see them as clearly as I did for when I pointed them to my daughter and niece as something in need of attention they glanced at each other and then at me

in an odd way, but cleaned where I pointed.

Many years later my daughter, now married, brought my two grand-children to visit. It was near Christmas and they were filled with the spirit. The five year old looked up at me asked, "Why don't you have a Christmas tree, Grandpa?"

(God-damn tree I thought. I began the replay again.)

I looked down again and the 7 year old piped up. "Why don't you buy one and we will decorate it, Grandpa?" God- damn tree! Before I could get out my usual excuses...just me living here... too much work…going to Florida soon...I looked into their eyes. And there she was. Her eyes, her smile, our grandchildren. Things roared back. I recalled how they knew about butterfly kisses. I had heard them sing some of the words to, "Taffy was a Welshman" and "Nice Kitty, Nice Kitty Perk up Your Ears." Songs sung to our children and obviously passed along by our daughter.

I went to Walmart and bought a tree. Pre-lit. We decorated it. I cannot find the stains in the carpet anymore, Funny thing I thought…was I  the carpet?